I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
— Psalm 27:13-14
Following Jesus is a lot about waiting for Him. While Jesus is in the depths of the earth, the disciples can do nothing but hide, and wait. While Paul is in prison he can do nothing but write letters, and wait. A lot about standing our ground when the mountains fall around us, is waiting. But how can God expect us to withstand this purposeless, fruitless, waiting? It’s a different kind of suffering than the psets and hard labor we’re used to. It suspends us in a matrix of doubts and fears. Questions flash by, more excruciating than lashes from the whip. How can I know that God actually loves me? How can I know that God even exists?
It’s Palm Sunday. This morning we returned to Turner Memorial Baptist Church (TMBC), John’s church, for morning service. The pastor preaches about the difference between being a fan and being a follower of Jesus. The fan is fickle, the follower is faithful. The crowds were fickle, the disciples were fickle – not one remained faithful to the Lord in his most crucial suffering in the depths of the earth. Not one foresaw his victory. Yet – he rose. And he still loves us and calls us his brothers and sisters!
Oliver, John’s mini twin; xprods get food; a cute family; another cute family.
We head over to Lawndale assisted living center and sing a few songs. The amount of appreciation we receive is gracious and complete. When we converse afterwards, I meet a former prima ballerina, Mary, who teaches me a few movements. Despite her wizened limbs and quivering manner, the grace of a dancer still permeates her body. She points her toes delicately, sweeping her arms above her head like a patient willow. Each of her movements are graced with tranquil deliberation. When my ballet lesson is over, she breaks down into a series of violent coughs that rattle her small frame, and I can’t bear to acknowledge it – her past strength and present frailty juxtaposed in one body. John brings her some water as she delicately wheels away in her walker.
Brief Interlude
“We lost 8 of [the seniors] this winter due to sickness… They’ve had to leave their pets, their families, their livelihood behind. That you guys would take the time to come down here to sing to them – it means the world to them.”
~ Joelanne, director at Lawndale Manor assisted living center expressing her appreciation to us.
Prayer is a lot about waiting for Him. Perhaps the power of prayer lies in the wait. If we doubt, then prayer loses its meaning. It is no better than senseless muttering to oneself, no better than a fruitless effort to make oneself “feel better” while the storm rages on. But if we believe, then prayer works miracles. It encourages, it give hope, it strengthens, while we wait. God uses a prayer spoken from one’s unfaithful lips to speak to another’s faithful ears.
In the evening, we return to TMBC for a full concert. We are nervous, perhaps underprepared, and quivering. But the Lord is good, and he fills our music with joy. Everyone is overflowing with the joy of the Lord – perhaps this is the fruit we are meant to bear, and to see. A Spanish-speaking lady, Maria, takes wonderful photos for the entire group (all of them below!), and then prays for us in both English and Spanish. We are huddled in a mass at the front of the sanctuary; Helen, Yeye, and Jessica in the center, the rest of the xprods around them, then the rest of the congregation around us. The prayer permeates from the outside in, from the inside out.
Brief Interlude
Yeye: Where do I put these mic clips?
Craig: Here, wrap them in my trousers.
We enjoy a hearty meal of Tex-mex at Moe’s, consisting of oversized burritos, “stacks” (which are taco-shell-cheesy-flat-burrito-things), and guac, pico, and queso in mucho amounts. We converse about southern lingo (“y’all”, “y’ain’t”, etc.), prescriptivism, and knock-your-socks-off-hilarious pickup lines. And then, a final surprise gig of Beloved by Jordan Feliz for the employees right as Moe’s closes shop. The employees all pull out their cameras to film us. They are obviously flattered by our serenade – their smiles are wide and gracious.
Perhaps the fruit comes slowly – but it does come. We must wait.
<3,
Erica
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.